Monday, August 15, 2011

My Brother-In-Law Injured in 4-Wheeling Accident ~ Would Appreciate Prayers & Ideas

An older picture of one of his
 4-wheelers.
We got word that my brother-in-law was injured in a 4-wheeler accident on vacation this weekend. He was thrown off, went down an embankment and the vehicle landed on his back. The final report has not been issued by the head trauma doctor, but we do know his pelvis is broken in three places. The decision for surgery is still to come, apparently it is better to not put in pins/screws because of nerve damage, but sometimes it is necessary. He probably is looking at weeks if not months in bed and then
rehabilitation.

The accident happened in a neighboring state from his so he is about 3 hours away from home. Unfortunately we live 500+ miles away from both. I am a "doer," a helper and a "fixer" of everyone's problems or easing of their suffering [or at least I try] and it is driving me crazy being so far away. I have a couple of ideas of things to do at this distance, but since he is a guy it is not as obvious to me what I can do to ease his time in bed as it was with my sister's recent hospice stay. So if you all have any suggestions I would appreciate them. Maybe you have had a guy in a similar situation and will have experience.

Also he has a son who is going into his senior year at high school who was with him when it happened and now has much more responsibility on his shoulders.  Would love ideas of encouragement for him, too.  I normally am full of ideas, but I only a few for this situation and that's why I am asking.

Currently the pain and the super strong pain meds are making him nauseated so snacks will have to wait. When he is released from the trauma center he will probably have to go to a home unless he can set up home help. Here are a few things about him that may help you think of things:
  • Single Dad of high school senior
  • his son will start school on Thursday so will leave his dad and head home Tuesday
  • likes to hunt, camp & 4-wheel (on hold for now obviously)
  • excellent cook (on hold for now, too)
  • doesn't like chocolate
  • likes NASCAR (has tickets for next weekend--apparently a rarity for him--and now can't go)
I know many of you mentioned praying for my sister when she was in her last days and I'd love if you'd pray for my Brother-in-law's recovery, too.  It is amazing how a life can be changed in an instant.

39 comments:

Anonymous said...

Sending prayers and positive, healing thoughts to your brother-in-law and your whole family!!

Andrea said...

So sorry to hear about his accident Cheryl! I will definitely keep him in our prayers. Will try and think of some ideas.

Cheryl said...

Thank you, Anon, I just can't even imagine what he is going thru or how this may change his future.

Cheryl said...

Thanks, Andrea, I am sure being so close to it is hard to get my mind to focus on what to do, that's why I thought I'd ask.

Anonymous said...

I am sorry for the accident and will be praying for him. My sister was home schooled in 6th grade due to an ATV accident and had several broken bones. As for things to keep in occupied there are several hunting/nascar dvds you could send to him. Also what about hunting magazines, my husband gets woods and water magazine and it has a lot of good articles in it(inspiration on what he can do when he gets better)
I hope that helps a little and he recovers quickly!

Stacie said...

Well, I used to bake and send them to my cousin when he was stationed over seas. He said they were his favorite package to receive. I would bake muffins cookies rice crispy treats etc. When you send them seal it in tupperware and they will stay fresh. I told him when I got this back I would send more. I would even include money for postage so they came back fast and we had great turn around. See if you can sell the nascar tickets on ebay or call the office he bought them for and trade them for next season. I would hate for all the money to go to waste.
When I had my daughter my SIL organized a thing at my baby shower where each day for 2 weeks after the birth someone brought me a meal. It was really nice. You could contact his work friends or church friends to see if you can get then in order for him when he gets home.

Madeline said...

Cheryl, I know there is not much you can do from a distance, but your prayers will help no matter how far away you are! Praying for
his recovery!

Anonymous said...

He is in my prayers. When my husband was in the hospital he enjoyed some magazines like for outdoors or cars or maybe a digital poker game

deanna said...

Cheryl-
My thoughts and prayers definitely go out to you during this time. My younger sister also had this happen to her last summer. After a week in ICU (which was mostly to monitor her) she went home. Complete with a broken back, broken jaw, badly scarred on parts of her neck and hairline. She is up to her old self now, but will always need to take it easy, can never run, although she likes it, can't play sports anymore like she likes, but she is happy, & healthy. She even started doing modeling to make herself feel better about her scars. One idea I had would be to get family friends who do live close by to "sign-up" to bring dinner by for his son and himself when he returns home. Maybe someone would be willing to come in like once a week to help keep the place up. Is there a local church or even a home health company that you could contact to find out if they could, not sure about financially, that seems like it would be difficult. But maybe even the local church or a neighbor or family friend of his can help organize a dinner or car wash or something to help with that...hth!!! (Making Cents with D on FB, can't comment there, comment blocked!)

Anonymous said...

Will keep you and your family in prayer. Speed recovery for your brother-in-law. ac

Cheryl said...

Great ideas, everyone, thanks so much--I am beginning to see I can find many things to do from here. And thanks for the thoughts and prayers.

Cheryl said...

Deanna, sorry to hear about your sister but glad she is up and around now. I am wondering about the financial end and haven't approached that yet as it just happened, but I can't imagine the length of time out of work will be easy. And then depending on if he can do his old job when he is recovered.

I have been having issues on the FB page, by the way, but I have not had any one say a comment was blocked. I have been finding a lot of posts stuck in the "hidden" post tab and un-hiding them, and someone said it may be a troll marking them as spam. I don't understand how a comment can be blocked so not sure I can do anything about it (I am not real familiar with FB except for my page). If you know of any way I can unblock you I will.

Valencia said...

My prayers definitely go out to you and your family.

Anonymous said...

very sorry to hear :( will keep him in my prayers..
and my prayers and love to the kid too who may b under a lot of stress..
lee

Cheryl said...

Thanks, Anon, I should have mentioned more about his son, as I definitely feel his life is going to be changed. This is his senior year and this is a lot on him, too. I remember my father was dying of cancer my senior year so my heart goes out to him. I think I'll edit the post a bit to be sure everyone knows I want ideas & prayers for him, too.

Danielle said...

Have you thought of getting them a netflix (or similar service). This is something they can do together or your brother in-law can use to pass the time. I'll keep them both in my prayers.

Cheryl said...

Danielle, I am not real familiar with this, but will look into it. I was thinking of some sort of notebook thing that gets the internet (I am not too tech savvy here)so he'd have more than the T.V. to watch. Thanks again, I will check this out.

Anonymous said...

So sorry to hear about the accident. If he's like most men, when he feels up to it, he'll ask for his XBOX 360 or Playstation3. Call of Duty: Black Ops is the most played game but they have NASCAR too. Ask his son if he plays. If you can set it up, online gameplay would be a great way for them to connect. And you can use the Kinect for video chat. {P.S., They would both need an xbox, Kinect, and a XBOX LIVE gold membership (you can get a 30day free trial), for it to work but maybe you can borrow one? Or trade for the NASCAR tickets. Just a thought.)

Cheryl said...

Fantastic idea, Anon, will be looking into this. Hubby just talked to him and he will be in bed at least 2 to 3 months before he can put weight on it. This would pass a lot of hours. Not sure what Black Ops is exactly in this game, but since his soon has enlisted in the Marines it sounds right up his alley.

berries99 said...

My prayers are with you and your family.

joanna said...

I am sure that Dad would most appreciate someone helping with his son home alone. Can you make meals, portion for freezer & stock his freezer so he doesn't have to worry about cooking.
Can you send a box of toiletries so he doesn't have to go grocery shopping - probably something he has never done.
Can you invite the son to homecooked dinners at your place while he is home & check in on him to make sure he is keeping up with school & has everything he needs for activities - forms, permission slips, copies of paper work for parking stickers, etc
Dad will appreciate it :) all the best for his easy recovery.

Cheryl said...

Thanks, Joanna, the problem is I am 500 miles from his home and the hospital both. Toiletries for the son would be good, too, though.

Rebecca said...

This might sound silly...or may be VERY practical, but something simple like helping him set up automatic bill pay for his bills, or calling on his behalf (sometimes not possible) to extend payment dates for things he can't take care of while he is in recovery. The son might need help with getting his school papers in order, especially things like senior pictures.
I will definitely praying for both of them!

JRFrugalMom said...

I am so sorry to hear about your brother-in-law Cheryl, it sounds like a horrible tragedy that could have ended up even worse than it did.

What about using some of your amazon gift cards or Walmart to send send him something....Amazon has some great Haribo gummibears (since he doesn't like chocolate).



JR

Pat said...

I'm so sorry to hear about this accident. My mind is blank too about what you can do to help from a distance but maybe some answers will unfold as time passes and you see a need you can fill. Prayers are certainly with him and your family.

Amanda said...

Sending positive thoughts and prayers to your entire family!

Cheryl said...

You all have such great ideas. The things about school are really neat because I homeschooled my girls and even that was several years ago so I know nothing about what is involved in a high schooler's school.

Cheryl said...

JR, I wondered about setting them up an Amazon account and putting some of mine from Swagbucks and Superpoints in it and letting them choose what they want or need. I remember you posting about those gummies before and that your hubby liked them. My hubby is a milkway/3musketeer kind of guy so I never think of gummies for guys. lol

Carol said...

Cheryl,
So sorry to hear about the accident. I have had family and friends stuck in bed due to cancer. I will only mention the practical things you can do from a distance.

1. Definitely NETFLIX would be my #1 suggestion (as mentioned above).

Back then I didn't know about Netflix. Since I had so many DVD's and VHS tapes I use to make up a nice basket and bring about ten at a time to my ill friend(s). Then switch them out. They all loved it: Charlotte, Joan, June ... When I discovered Netflix and how wonderful it was I gifted a subscription to a family member who has had a long recovery. She absolutely loved it. "It's like a gift that keeps giving."

2. Music, CD's, Ipod
My friend Helen enjoyed the piano CD's I gave her when she was going through Chemo. She said, "How did you know? I could never fall asleep in the afternoon as recommended by the doctor. I put the piano music on, laid on the floor and fell a sleep." When Charlotte was in the hospital for days on end I brought her instrumental music and a personal portable CD player w/ headphones. She said it helped her to relax and drown out the hospital noises. When my father was dying I made a compilation of his favorite 40's music. He really enjoyed that. Music has a way of taking us somewhere beautiful. It can relax and aid in healing.

3. Pajamas, Socks, Robe, House slippers,
When my friend Colin was in the hospital for a brain tumor. I brought him a really nice pair of socks and a robe. I bought my mother-in-law a pair of socks that had rubber things on the bottom so she would not slip while in the hospital. I also got her one that was to help with circulation. Compression socks?!! Not sure what they are called but I got them both from Wal-Mart.

4. Good support pillow, Soft Sheets & Bedding, Bed Tray (for meals.)
If I was going to be stuck in bed for a few months I would buy a high thread count set of sheets, a really good pillow, and a duvet cover for a down comforter.
A tray that has legs on it would come in handy for meals in bed. One that swivels so you can read a magazine would be nice too.

5. Walker, Portable potty & shower chair (When he has healed sufficiently to stand)
A friend, Amber, was side swiped by another car and fractured her pelvis. My sister, a nurse, got her a portable potty for her bedside so she did not have to walk to the bathroom. I saw these at Walgreens the other day, It looks like a chair.

More info on Netflix:
Netflix just changed their pricing structure. Here are a few: $7.99 unlimited streaming; $7.99 DVD 1 out at a time; $11.99 2 DVD's out at a time; $15.98 combo Streaming and 1 DVD . Steaming (instant play) can be done right to a computer, DVD player that is Netflix capable, TV that is internet/netflix capable or that is hooked up to a game box like XBOX that is netflix ready. There is also something called a Roku box that hooks up to the internet (network cable) and to your TV (S video cable). I don't recommend this option since for the price you can buy a DVD player that has internet/Netflix options. To view instant play movies you have to add the movies to your account via the internet. The DVD's are great. I just add the movies I want to my account. They show up in the mail. I can keep it as long as I want. When I am done I put it in the mailbox. If I put it in on Monday I usually get another one by Wednesday. Now that's fast! I live in S. FL. You may have to set up the account for him and add the movies until he is able to do it himself.

Hope this helps.
You have given so much to us CVS'ers Thank you!

Carol said...

Forgot to mention:
Meals on Wheels

Cheryl said...

Thank you, Carol, for all that great in-depth info. My husband is interested in looking into the Netflix (I mentioned it to him) and this will give him a great overview. I love the bedding idea (and the others, but the bedding is something more unusual). He said if he gets to go home he will need a hospital bed so I will need to get the size of that (not sure if it is a normal size or not).

Anonymous said...

Prayers sent!

Carol said...

I thought of a couple of other things as I was falling asleep last night.

6. Supplements to promote Fracture Healing. (Get Dr.s approval)
I just scanned some info and will be emailing it to you. When Jared, the fireman, broke his femur I sent an article to his wife about supplements that promote faster bone healing. Cooper and Zinc are very important in fracture healing and in the early formation of collagen in the wound.

7. Medical Binder & Calendar
When two of my friends were facing a future of multiple doctors and appointments I set up a binder for them.
a. A calendar that fits in the front pocket of the binder to record doctor appointments and events.

b. A pocket holder for appointment cards and prescription slips to fill

c. Filler paper to quickly jot down notes: Questions to ask the doctor. What the doctor said..... etc

d. Tabs:
CONTACT INFO, a list of all the doctor phone numbers & addresses, tape calling cards here,
VISITS a chronological journal of your doctors appointments and tests to record what was said and done on that visit.
MEDICINES, a list of meds prescribed, when they were prescribed, directions; also list any vitamins and supplements you are taking
TESTS, list of tests taken and results. Sheet protectors in this section to slip in test results.
HISTORY, Any pertinent medical history listed here
INSURANCE, List pertinent info, ex. coverage, (DO NOT record insurance policy number)
MISC, miscellaneous

Best Wishes.

Taika Maris said...

Prayers and healing thoughts.

livingleaner said...

thinking of you during this tough time...

Anonymous said...

We are praying!! God bless you all!! Love, Debra
Coupon Nano

Cecilia said...

:(
I'll pray.

Anonymous said...

Please check out thecoupongoddess.com
she was hit by a car about a month ago and broke her pelvis and is going through the same thing as your brother in law. She posts on her blog about her experiences. I am sure she will have lots of ideas for you if you contact her she is very helpful.

FlowerGirl said...

i will also pray.